Week 3 Reflection: 4 Journal Entries

1. In have written down general truths I come across for the past 5-6 years. I was able to find one that states “Sincerity is the basis of happiness“. The saying itself is pretty simple. Stay true to yourself in order to be happy. However, I forget when exactly I wrote this. Undoubtedly, that moment in high school when I realized it was time to do away with my façade and be true to myself. High school is a difficult time for everyone, where people come to realize who exactly they are. On top of that, it is run by cliques and you confuse your self-identity even further in an attempt to “fit in” or “be cool”. I also can’t remember the exact experience that drove me to the realization, that it is more cool to be true to yourself and as a result will be a lot more content with how things are, but I’m sure glad I found out. I may be quirky and different but I am completely comfortable with who I am and others can either like me for who I am… or not. I don’t really care and realize not everyone is going to like me but if I’m genuine and sincere most people will respect you.

2. Notebooks give us away. They hold our darkest secrets and our innermost thoughts. The thought of our notebooks getting into the wrong hands leaves us shaking, it makes us feel vulnerable. For in our notebooks, we record what is most dear to us. It is not done by simply re-stating events, including every small detail, but rather by recording what stood out to us and what provoked strong emotions. Therefore, we should not fear. Our notebooks are usually nothing but a messy, disorganized accumulation of meaningless words to outsiders and will not give us away to them.

However, they reveal to ourselves who we truly are. Why did that particular (hypothetical) detail stand out to me and I feel compelled to write it down? Perhaps it made me remember a past experience that I never want to forget, or it is something that I hold in association with something significant to me. The context of your life is crucial for drawing connections, nobody else can make the same associations. There is also the notion that what you wrote down is factually inaccurate. You write down how you personally perceived something and can overdramatize certain aspects of the past in order to explain the feelings it provoked from within, sometimes from deep within. Therefore, in making the choice to record what you recorded you are revealing (sometimes subconsciously) what matters to you. It makes no sense to record every drab bit of information, as humans have a finite amount of resources and allocation of these resources (namely time and energy) towards meaningless details would be a waste. Thus personally, I can’t stand diaries where you outline your entire day from the minute you woke up to the minute you fall asleep (or at least to the time you chose to write). They are not revealing any more about ourselves and our day than a concise notebook. I don’t want to know what I ate for breakfast unless it was something special…. with someone important to me, someplace I want to hold in my memory, etc. The fact that I ate Cheerios at 7:05 a.m., drove to work at 8:00 a.m., ate lunch at 12:15 p.m., used the restroom at 1:00 p.m., left work at 4 p.m., arrived home at 5:00 p.m. (on and on) holds no significance to me and is not what I’m wanting to remember from that day… hopefully there is something of at least some importance to me coming from every day otherwise I would be living a rather dull life (and need to be living life more on the edge). But not only does this extraneous information distract you from what really matters but it also limits the chance we divulge what really mattered to us which is undoubtedly the ultimate purpose of the notebook.

3. “I woke up receiving a message from my loved one, reminding me how lucky I am to have her in my life and that she deserves my best. It motivates me to make the most out of my day and, even when participating in the most mundane of activities, I give my 110% effort. I later went to lunch with an old friend of mine, eliciting all of the fun experiences we’d had in high school. In particular, picking him up and driving to Chick-fil-A made me ruminate over all the fun times we had during life-threatening Thursdays. Haha how the times have changed. We’ve certainly both matured from our reckless days of squealing tires around tight turns, revving the engine at stop lights and driving a hundred on the freeway. And thank god we aren’t stuck in our high school days, because although these were exhilarating blood-pumping experiences (a high I similarly get while riding roller coasters) if these ways had persisted blood-pumping may be occurring in a hospital rather than within our veins. Yet spending time with Robby induced the same excitement as it always had, despite us just catching up. His smile as I told him I was enjoying life at DU was uplifting and reassuring. I hope I showed similar interest and support that all shined through in his smile. After briefly talking with my mom and telling her I love her, I went to bed peacefully that night. Let them good times continue to roll!”

4. My day revealed a lot about myself. In this actual notebook entry rather than explaining the mundane activities I partook in after waking up it focuses in on the highlight of my day, which is in fact the highlight of each and every one of my days. My interactions and conversations with my girlfriend are what incite a fire in me and drive me to do my best. It is inherent with who I am and I am so thankful for her large presence in my life. I then had another memorable experience. My friend and I were driving to Chic-fil-A, just like old times (there was a Chic-fil-A near our high school so I felt inclusion of this detail was necessary), and this made me think of all the fun times we’d spent together. In particular it drove me to a humorous recollection of a past behavior, which although fun at the time I’m glad is over with (partially due to maturing and partially due to being aware that I have so much to live for). Lastly, I said goodnight to my mom (and unmentionably my girlfriend since it is only reasonable that I’d do that after explaining how much she means to me and since I do that EVERY night). I point out the fact that I am content by saying I fall asleep peacefully. This is all because family, friends and my wonderful girlfriend are all huge parts of my life and make me happy on a daily basis. The point of my notebook is not to record every detail but to outline the meaningful things that I chose to write down. Therefore, unlike my first journal entry in which I partially forgot what caused me to write down the truth “Sincerity is the basis of happiness” I always make sure to include enough detail in my notebook so that if I happen to look back at my entries in a decade (or even further in the future) I will be able to fully understand the literal meaning and importance of what I wrote. I want to be able to look back, and since the notebook reveals so much about oneself, being able to see what shaped me to become my future self. Not only being able to look back in delight at the good things, which dominated my third journal entry since it was a very good day, but also the rough patches that I’ve overcome to remind me that the bad is only temporary and I have a lot going right for me!